samiraisfan: (yamapair)
samiraisfan ([personal profile] samiraisfan) wrote on May 11th, 2014 at 06:18 pm
Changes
Mostly changes and decisions in my life.
Seems I just write here whenever I make some important changes, but well... that's why this is what I use this livejournal account: for personal purposes. And to keep watching Arashi but that's all THANKS TO ALL OF YOU WHO SHARE SUCH FILES. THANK YOU!!!

What I came to write is... Don't know if already talked about 'roleplaying' here. But if not, here is the first time. And the last. Because I stopped doing it. It was really funny and entertaining, and something amazing to meet new people... But at some point it became an obligation for me when everyone else tends to use it to escape real life. My escape valve is college right now. It's weird but it is. I have dreamt to be in college years, and now that I am, it is wonderful. I met dozen of people per year and I feel safe there. If I could I would love to have classes from morning to evening, and do every work they give us over there to just come home and relax to enjoy the few hours on my hobbies and such. So I tried to have 'roleplaying' as a hobby too but I ended up taking it personal when that's the wrong thing to do. All 'roleplayers' advice it: "don't make it personal. What happens to your 'muse/character' has nothing to do with the 'roleplayer/typist/mun'." Wrong. I ended up feeling worse and stupid. And lately, empty. As if it doesn't go with me. As if I don't fit in such place. Every time I logged in all I wanted to do was logging off. I got down and depressed and it started to affect my mental health. Although it helped me to come with plot ideas to write and such, I put an end. I still use my tumblog to share all my shitty poor thoughts, sometimes negative sometimes positive mostly... neutral thoughts, but I also like to come here and ramble on everything.


Have a wonderful mother's day and an amazing start of week!

- Aoky yori.
 
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