samiraisfan: (yamapair)
samiraisfan ([personal profile] samiraisfan) wrote on February 26th, 2016 at 03:50 am
Another dream...?

Yes, let's call it. At first I was to ramble about it on Twitter I thought it would be better keeping it on a journal blog-post. Anyway, let's get to the point. What I was about to share was this quote:

"Let's have Sho's red hair as an idea in mind before falling asleep, are you listening huh? Subconscious"

What I mean is that last night I went kinda "daydreaming" what and how would be if I've ever stepped on Japan and I met Sakurai Sho the last day of my stay there, and with mostly the idea, I haven't even started creating anything in mind, my subconscious created the most, how could that be called... romantic?, I don't know... All I remember at this hours is holding hands with interlacing our fingers while walking around into shops, stores, other locals or even on the street; being sat down and held with his arms as if it was something SOOO CAASUUAALL, really thinking on all of it and then reading it sound SOOO IIMMPOOSIIBLLEEE. Anyhow, while being on such 'casual' situation, I remember looking up and seeing his profile and, i don't know, but the light and everything made it so real, as if I simply raise my hand and touch it and.... Mezmerizing. I get lost of words whenever... I mean I can start talking about this guy but in the middle I get speechless.

At some point, somewhere that seemed an event where Arashi will perform, I grabbed the microphone to test it and sang the "Pass da mic Pass da pen Kono, kono mic and pen rockz, rockz the world" line from Sho's Hip Pop Boogie solo, which then became the soundtrack of the rest of the dream and nightmare. Because at this moment, I lost sight of him, though it became a party, when it ended I suddenly felt lost on a place I know nothing, even having language barrier since I barely understand japanese. Yet the nightmare is not the important case on this post, but me having an idea before falling asleep and my subconscious having material enough kept on my memory cage to bring it back on dreamland.

Although I don't write about all the dreams I have, because I do and they are plenty, I try to find a reason why it happens and so frequent the past years. I don't know if unconsciously I believe and accept I can only have a relationship with Sakurai, that he is the only one and then forbidding me to actually have one with whomever they be; that those dreamlike situations truly represent my inner feelings and what I experience daily. I'm not saying they are bad, they are actually hella wonderful, you know that feeling when you are like... "at home"? Somehow that's what I mostly feel.

Either way, writing about it won't make the answer explode, so on my daily tasks I'll search for it.

Have a nice weekend!

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